Broken bridges – can they be mended?
I believe so. But I didn’t always think this way, in fact most of my past relationships with friends and otherwise have started out great and ended in a state of absence. Of course each relationship is different, thus a number of different factors fraction its break up. But the more I experience life, and learn about the way of compassion, I realize how foolish the incidents were as silly arguments or sudden disagreement end in continuous hurt and despair.
I can honestly say that my biggest culprit in mending past relationships lie in my ego. It’s an unfortunate and difficult emotion that we all possess – a giant wall that stands in your way of healing, growth, inner peace, apologizing and most importantly, practicing efforts of unconditional compassion. And if you ever attempt to re‑establish communication or seek reconciliation with a past relationship, the ego alludes you into thinking that you will lose face, or far worse, lose your dignity, and bring upon shame. But the ego is nothing more that an emotion in fear. It’s the part of us that identifies itself as a separate entity, thus making it ever so hard to attain any form of spiritual enlightenment. But its important to remember that our true essence is the spiritual self, not the ego, which cause us to focus on all the trappings of our physical self, leading only to frustration.
With the practice of unconditional compassion, one is able to overcome their egos. Unconditional compassion is also one of the most important attributes in gaining a healthy, happy, rich and graceful living. Under that umbrella recipe there are many things that are part of the ingredients: patience, presence, tenderness, genuine kindness, unconditional love, nonjudgment, the ability to listen and walk in another’s shoes separate to your own, wisdom, etc. And responsibility is part of doing the most compassionate thing for others and yourself. This does not constitute a “better than” approach nor to act out of our ego desires and needs (subconsciously or consciously).
This all may sound simple, but it’s not and it takes constant and consistent “keeping yourself in check” regularly. Part of that is the ability to not react, but to respond. In learning this, we practice patient listening, reflecting and feeling from another person’s perspective. We also learn that authenticity is important and it isn’t simply about being nice or doing the so-called right or kind thing that we would be expected to incorporate out of social etiquette or righteous ethics. It is about authentically understanding the depth of unconditional compassion and how it takes root in honoring everyone’s highest good and everyone’s chosen path of evolution, while remaining respectful of who we and they are, lovingly and gracefully, integrating wise reflection and introspection in the process.
Many times we deny responsible action, forget to practice unconditional compassion and self sabotage the authenticity of who we are. It is easy for people once they progress to a certain point of growth or evolution to feel they have reached the epitome of right action and choice and that all others not practicing the same, are less than. When in fact, the more you evolve and grow, the more you are called to bring unconditional compassion more into your everyday experience, beingness and expression. Simply because you are in what seems to be a more evolved space than you were previously, does not automatically equate to reaching the end of the road of evolutionary progress. Life is a continual journey and process and we must challenge ourselves to push the envelope of our compassion further and further, to reach and see beyond duality, even if we ourselves choose one side of the fence. The grass is not always greener on your side or the other side. The heart chakra’s unconditionally loving and compassionate energy field of emerald green, is a place that resides boundless and beyond, integrating everything with what your current mind’s eyes cannot see.
Responsible action is unconditional compassion. Embracing the gifts you came into this world to share, as well as to courageously follow through in the path you chose, but likely have forgotten, are part of this. Honoring others paths with compassion, communicating with compassion, leading by example from compassion, loving compassionately, acting compassionately, teaching or educating compassionately are all things that fall under the umbrella of unconditional compassion for greatest effect and in respect of the highest good of all concerned.
It’s often that I get out of my heart and into my head or wander off path, but my recent efforts of reconciliation with a family member has helped me to realize the power of unconditional compassion, and thus the reality of my ego. The situation has helped me to accept things in a broader term, as I genuinely accepted my faults, tore down the walls of my ego, and apologized. This experience has not only cleansed my soul, but took a tremendous weight off my back. Most importantly, if you are truly genuine and honest in your form of reconciliation/apology, the universe will respond back in a positive manner. My relative has now forgiven me, and our relationship seems to have formed an even stronger bond than before.
My recent experience have thus influenced me to declare this week as ‘The Week of Building Bridges’, I invite everyone to join me! Regardless of who it is that you have a broken relationship with, or whatever the reasons may be of your lost bond, or whoever’s fault it was for the separation, I encourage you to take a positive initiative, and to break out of the realms of your ego to send a gesture of unconditional compassion; whether it be in form of email, hand-written letter, a simple card, a call, or text, to the person(s) whom you lost contact with. It’s never too late for a deed of good compassion, and never good to bear ill will or bad thoughts of anyone. So don’t be blinded by your single perspective, or emotional vengeance. Forgive the past and bury old fights, and let the healing begin. The mending of broken relationship begins the moment one person steps up and re‑establishes contact, sending the clear message that he/she cares more about the relationship than proving their side of the dispute. The moment we speak with a gentle tongue, words of love spoken from our heart begin to mend those broken fences. Maybe the person you are reaching out to wont respond, and maybe they will, but by dedicating yourself to such an aim, not only will we create a positive ripple effect, but grow a step closer to achieving happiness, inner peace, and ultimately, spiritual enlightenment.
Follow me on my plea to break the wall of silence this week!