hilitehead

nov 3

from one barren desolation to another frozen desert of destitution
I am the absence of air in the midst that transiently flow in between
I started the world within the warehouse two months ago
and now my conscience wont let me go ahold of all the fabricated truths I’ve painted
I see faces smiles and desires illuminated in a cloud of bile
with each his own
and a small piece of my heart
torn and carefully collaged into a storybook
that extend beyond into a realm unfamiliar
I cannot get lost in my lies
my thoughts of trust and intimacy are lost
they now ponder in a far away forest beyond the hills
was I expecting to learn something else?
I build higher walls
block

dear Sean, you make me quiver
I would like to see you again for all the wrong reasons
there is something about you

frigidly I check the backlight of my phone
3 new messages
I imagine an outfit
a slut
open skin in the cool fall air
its 10 pm

keep your feelings for more essential things

dissociated from reality
setegleerei itgeerei
let me lose myself
where I can finally let my boundaries down in the warm embracing world of films
this is when I feel at utmost comfort
this is when im home

do you expect me to rejoice at 7 am on a saturday morning
remember im an insomniac
and you rejected the birthday card I made you
that hurts

I wear my heart on my chest
like a sugar badge that ants succumb
always seeing the good in people
putting others before myself
kindness is weakness
monsters have taught me to
act otherwise
never trust but I still do

for her the cigarettes are the only thing she has
they wont abandon her
the smoke consoles her weary heart in times of pain
they are the pillow sticks of love

the cotton clouds of papaya orange
soft
float above gray cobalt
bouquet tips of crimson orange and ochre leaves
below on ground
a bare branch stands tilted in front
alone

the early morning sun
a cold breeze
a cup of hot coffee topped with peppermint whip cream
make my day
Im alive